A Call to Presence

I wouldn’t be who I am today without meditation. It seems like a strong statement, especially if you haven’t yet discovered the power of meditation in your life. Trust me, I was once that person who couldn’t imagine sitting “doing nothing” in my spare time. I’m a type A, “doer” kind of gal! Yet now I couldn’t imagine living a balanced, fulfilled life without it. I’ve tackled some of the most intense challenges in my life by harnessing the power of this incredible practice. Yet, it has also helped me soften and find ease, joy and gratitude with the moment right in front of me; what I’ve come to call “my sacred everyday.” There have been times when I’ve neglected to carve out my meditation time, and I feel frazzled, overwhelmed, easily irritable and out of sync with the flow of my life.

Meditation is really about tapping into the present moment. What is right in front of you? The sobering truth is that we are rarely in reality. We are often plugged into devices, finding ways to escape; ignoring and muffling the vibrancy of our everyday lives. We are rarely plugged into soul, self and earth. Listen, I’m not saying that once we become present and open our eyes and ears to what is around us, it will all be sunshine and rainbows. That’s not the point. Human life is always a bit of a messy roller coaster ride. There will always be another problem to solve, mess to clean up, wound to heal. If you get it all together something usually falls apart again in the next moment. And if you get what you desire, another yearning will soon arise. It’s just the way of being a glorious human. Being present means showing up and participating fully in the unfolding of our precious lives while we have them to live - embracing with awe the mysterious, wild beauty of it all. That’s what meditation teaches us to do.

Every morning I get up before my girls, get my tea, and head downstairs to my “meditation spot.” It’s nothing fancy but I nestle up on my fav meditation cushion with my hot tea, a warm blanket and a printed copy of my daily affirmations (see my post on "The Power of Positive Affirmations" ). I always love to be super comfy and cozy during a meditation.

I started out using the app Headspace that I highly recommend for people who are new to meditation (there are a ton of similar apps available). It can be so helpful in giving you some structure and guidance, but honestly, you don’t need any specific format to “do it right.” My practice typically begins with deep nasal breathing, bringing all of my awareness to my breath, my anchor. I tune in to the rising and falling of my belly. Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds. I sense the coolness of my breath in my nose as I breath in, and the warmth as I breath out. I do this sequence for a few minutes to get grounded and quiet my thoughts (I’m typically overanalyzing events from the day before or stewing over future worries)…all of this becomes background noise as I tap into the presence of my breath. I then start doing a body scan. Observing more closely the flesh and bone of my body right now. Starting at the top of the head, I scan down, visualizing and softening all parts of my body. I often experience a flood of gratitude the minute I start actually paying attention to my body. It’s so easy to forget all that our bodies do for us every second of every day...

One thing that has stuck with me and motivates me to show up everyday on my meditation cushion is the analogy with physical fitness. I know all of you reading this understand why it is important to exercise regularly and stay active in order to have a strong, flexible and resilient body. It’s something that we all strive for. We carve out time even if it’s hard because we know the benefits are so great. But do we do the same for our mind? I feel like as a culture, we seldom consider and prioritize how to have a healthy mind...

David Frawley, author of Ayurveda and The Mind puts it bluntly, “We are often so caught up in our emotional impulses that we do not nourish our minds properly. As a result our minds become distorted. Their natural urge toward light and knowledge becomes warped into seeking pleasure and self-aggrandizement. To change the mind we must change what we feed it. Unless what we put into our mind changes, we cannot change what comes out of it.” This is where meditation comes in. It is exercise for the brain. It is a detoxification. It helps us get back to our natural urge to show up with compassion, acceptance and ease. It enables us to have perspective on our lives. It allows us to tap into our internal intelligence and stop looking externally for validation. It creates space for all of the joy, relationships and love; a surrender to what is.

And science backs this up. The same way exercise is proven to lead to physical vitality; meditation leads to mental fortitude and flexibility. Through regular meditation, we can actually enhance certain areas of our brain and rewire neural pathways to promote positive traits like focus, self-compassion and diminish less positive ones like anxiety and fear. This means you can change your brain for the better in a way that is truly impactful and long-lasting. There are numerous studies that support this!

So far I’ve been describing the formal practice of meditation, but my biggest advice if you truly can’t find the time to meditate (or it’s not for you, yet!) is to embrace this concept of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention and noticing, and it can fit into any area of your life, at any time. It’s about being present and engaged in whatever you’re doing. When you are being actively mindful, you are observing the world around you, as well as your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and impact you have on others.

You can weave mindfulness into your life anytime, anywhere, and with anyone by being fully engaged in the here and now. MindLESSness is often the norm in our society (I fall victim to it, as well), but it doesn’t feel good or fulfilling. In fact, a Harvard study found that people spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are doing. Yet, this study also found that allowing the brain to run on auto-pilot like this can make people unhappy: “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”

Tips for Finding Moments for Everyday Mindfulness/Meditation:

• When you take a shower, what would it be like to actually feel the water hitting your body or smell the shampoo?

• While cooking, bring your attention to the food - the colors, the smells, the texture. Think about where it came from.

• Be present with the eyes and energy of those in the room with you.

• Listen to a guided meditation (like Insight Timer) while you’re getting ready for the day or walking.

• While nursing/pumping (for new mamas with little ones) - focus on those tiny little fingers and toes and bask in the gratitude for this human you created!

• During your commute, stuck in traffic, or waiting in line at the grocery store, tune into your breath. Breathe in for 4 breaths, out for 8 breaths.

• In an SOS moment, go to the bathroom stall. Ya’ll, this used to be my go-to place before a big executive team sales pitch meeting. I would do a quick breathing exercise and visualize myself confident, assertive and at ease.

• Instead of defaulting to scrolling IG or Facebook when you have a second of downtime, sit still for 2 minutes and bring your attention to your breath.

• In a heated or overwhelming moment, ask yourself: “What really matters to me most in this moment? Who do I want to be in this moment?”

Meditation calls us into our lives. It pulls us into the present moment. Not always a place that is peachy and rosy, but a place that is real, raw and an experience of your aliveness. And isn't that the whole point? It is waiting here right below our feet. Try for a moment to arrive here in your sacred every day. It is truly challenging to be in the quiet simplicity of what is real, but that’s where you actually wake-up. It’s through meditation and mindfulness that we learn over and over again how to be present. That’s where true transformation takes place and you can find happiness. We can let go of the gaining and grasping that dulls and exhausts us. As one of my mediation teachers says, “It requires great strength and courage to step out of doing and into being.” Be here now.